Joseph Ratzinger/Pope Benedict XVI was one of the 20th century’s most respected and renowned theologians, and, I would opine, one of history’s greatest minds to grace humanity. Few men have been more involved on a global scale in propagating both faith and reason. I have no doubt that he will not only be canonized but will eventually be declared a Doctor of the Church, in God’s own time, after careful study of his entire personal and public life. I personally regard him as a holy genius, because of both his brilliant mind and his great love for God.
I want to let everyone know how Benedict influenced my own life.
To begin, I am a cradle Catholic. Before Ratzinger became pope, the only pontiff I had known was Pope John Paul II. After all, JPII was pope for over twenty-six years. I didn’t know who Ratzinger was when I was growing up. My mother knew him, albeit slightly. She had read the book version of his groundbreaking interview with Italian journalist Vittorio Messori, The Ratzinger Report, back in the late 1980’s. This being said, the media was not what it is today; we hardly ever saw anything about Rome, the Vatican or the papacy on television. Secular media only scratched the surface, and only when something exceptional was happening in the life of the Church (such as John Paul’s trip to Canada or Christmas and Easter Blessings). My mother had to get her religious information from Catholic journals and magazines, whenever she could lay her hands on discards from fellow parishioners, at the back of the church, on Sundays.
As for me, even though I was born into the Catholic religion, I was a “so-so” Catholic. I hardly ever read religious writings, preferring mystery and romance novels. I never liked going to confession; I found it embarrassing for various reasons. What utter immaturity !! But there you have it. Needless to say, I have since grown out of that particular mindset.
As the JPII years unfolded, media was becoming more of a ubiquitous entity. By the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, we were seeing John Paul’s battle with Parkinson’s in more detail, and pundits were openly discussing possible successors. Ratzinger’s name was mentioned numerous times. Articles and news items were popping up here and there. By then, my mother had gotten to know Ratzinger more deeply, through books and pious publications. Then, Holy Week 2005 was upon us, and then I started to pay attention to this prelate.
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was not only the Prefect for the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith for more than two decades, he was also Dean of the College of Cardinals, and John Paul II’s right-hand man, so to speak. It was Ratzinger who wrote the Good Friday reflections in 2005. John Paul was too frail to attend the Way of the Cross ceremony at the Colliseum; he watched the event from his private chapel, via television. Ratzinger’s meditations and prayers were the center of attention; his brutally honest assessment of “the filth” that was rocking the Church was astounding. Many saw this as one of the deciding factors in his eventual election as Roman Pontiff, following John Paul’s death soon after, on the eve of Divine Mercy Sunday. In other words, people around the world took notice of this soft-spoken man who dared speak the truth.
As Dean of the College of Cardinals, the duty of presiding over Pope John Paul II’s funeral fell upon Cardinal Ratzinger. He was completely devoid of any self-centered awareness of himself; he was focused on his beloved pope’s funeral mass, in complete respect, piety and self-effacement. He had no ambition of becoming pope, nor of having the spotlight shine on himself. In fact, according to his own words, during his first audience with the German pilgrims, soon after his election: “Speaking in his native tongue, Benedict told the audience that at one point during the conclave, when it became clear he was garnering many votes, a fellow cardinal slipped him a note reminding him what he had preached before the conclave about Christ calling Peter to follow him even where he did not want to go. Benedict, 78, said he had hoped to spend his last years living quietly and peacefully. “As the trend in the ballots slowly made me realize that, in a manner of speaking the guillotine would fall on me, I started to feel quite dizzy,” a smiling Benedict said, clearly joking. “I thought that I had done my life’s work and could now hope to live out my days in peace. I told the Lord with deep conviction, ‘Don’t do this to me.”‘ He recalled saying to God in his prayers: “You have younger, better, more enthusiastic and energetic candidates.” “Evidently, this time He didn’t listen to me.”
During the days leading up to the conclave (the gathering of Elector Cardinals, in the Sistine Chapel), I dreamed that I was in Pope Paul VI Hall, in the Vatican, among a group of pilgrims, waiting to see the new Pope emerge from the hallway. I was watching as an elderly man dressed in white, unassuming, calm and shy, walked between important looking men. The pope I saw in my dream was definitely Ratzinger, but I did not know his papal name. I never told anyone about this dream, not even my mother, who was praying that Ratzinger be elected. What I can say is that I was just as enthusiastic as she was that Ratzinger was elevated to the Chair of Peter.
Like millions of Catholics around the world, my mother and I were glued to the television set, watching live coverage of the conclave, waiting for the smoke to billow out of the rooftop of the Sistine Chapel. The anticipation was quite nerve-racking each time the smoke came out: was it white? Was it black? I remember that even the secular news anchor of the time had admitted that he found the entire proceedings quite exciting.
And then the world beheld the white smoke, not quite clearly white at first, but whitening gradually. The elation was palpable: a new pope had been chosen in record time. It took about 24 hours for him to be chosen, on the 4th ballot. When the doors leading to the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica opened, we were all on tenterhooks, not wanting to miss one precious second of the new pope’s first appearance to the world. Then, the wonderful words “Habemus Papam“, were spoken by Cardinal Medina Estevez, the protodeacon at the time. And there was our new Pope, Benedict XVI, opening wide his arms to the world, a look of humble disquiet in his eyes, despite his sweet, shy smile.
And this was the decisive moment when my “so-so” devotion to my Catholic faith was transformed into a sudden pure love for my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I can only describe the experience of seeing the chosen Vicar of Christ open his arms to the world as a figurative bolt of lightning. In human terms, it was “love at first sight”, albeit a holy love. I wholeheartedly responded to the holiness that was emanating from Benedict’s entire being. He seemed so humble and accepting of God’s Holy Will for him, that I was finding myself drawn into complete devotion to God, to His Church, and to the Vicar of His Son. Within twenty-four hours of Benedict’s election, I started reading his writings on the faith, and the writings of others about his life.
From 2005, to this day, I not only read thirty-two of his books, but also his homilies, his speeches, his encyclicals, his apostolic exhortations and his catecheses (given every Wednesday morning at his general audiences). This being said, what convinces me that this man was holy, is the love and devotion for God, that grew daily in my heart.
For the first time in my life, I read the entire Bible. I took three years to make sure I pondered and understood every single page. I worked out a reading schedule: one chapter per day, starting with the Old Testament, and working my way through to the Book of Proverbs, then the Gospels, the Epistles and finally to the Book of Revelation (the Apocalypse). I will be honest: I found parts of the Old Testament quite difficult at times (the wars, the different kingdoms, the battles for supremacy, etc…). But I stuck to it. I had realized how very lacking my Catholic education had been. It was high time that I be cognizant of my own Christian faith.
Once I had completed the Bible, I tackled my next project: reading the entire Catechism of the Catholic Church. Again, I read one single paragraph per day, taking two years to complete my reading program.
This is part of Benedict’s influence in my life: I wanted to get closer to God and be educated in my own faith. I did what I had to do to be better informed about my own religion and get closer to God.
I trust completely in God’s Holy Will for my life. I believe in Divine Providence. I pray every day, offering everything to Him, who is my Creator. As Benedict himself said in his first encyclical, Deus Caritas Est (God is Love): “Christianity is not just an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but a personal encounter with the event of love, embodied in Jesus Christ. “ He defined God not as an abstract concept, but as a person who loves unconditionally. Benedict always pointed to Jesus, never to himself. He led his flock to God. He was truly Christ’s vicar on earth.
Benedict resigned in 2013, sending shock waves throughout the world. His calm and reasonable assessment of his situation makes me believe that his decision was not impulsive, but a result of mature discernment on his part. After all, St. Celestine had also resigned; this in no way diminishes one’s personal sanctity. On the eve of the solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, December 31st, 2022, Benedict died, at the age of 95.
It has now been three years since his death. We must wait for time to lead its course: a minimum of five years must pass before any steps for future beatification/canonization can take place. All in God’s good time. Until that day comes, I pray each day for his soul: O God, May the soul of your servant, Pope Benedict XVI, be received by your son, into eternal glory. We ask this through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Written on the eve of the third anniversary of Pope Benedict XVI’s death.
Requiescat in pace.
Marie Brousseau, Dec 30, 2025
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